One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?” “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”   John 5:5-8

Really Jesus!? Was it necessary to ask the guy who is crippled for most of his life if he wanted to get well? Of course he does. No one wants to go through life with an immobile and broken body, completely dependent on others to meet his most basic needs.

But Jesus, the master psychologist, understood that there are often powerful forces exerting tremendous pressure for the maintenance of the status quo. Change is risky even when it is positive change. It is well documented that when an alcoholic achieves sobriety and is in sustained recovery that old relationships can become very difficult. Spouse, children, and close friends often don’t know how to live with the positive changes the person is making and intense conflict often ensues.

It is not uncommon for there to be “good” reasons to sustain unhealthy and damaging patterns of thinking and behavior. Sometimes it feels like the cost outweighs the benefits of positive and healthy change. The pain of life is often too intense and hopelessness leaves us paralyzed and stuck in old destructive cycles of defeat and shame. What’s the use of trying—it never works out anyway.

Do you want to get well? Do you want to be a Pure Man? Count the cost and answer the question. Are you ready to step up to the plate and become the kind of man God designed you to be? If so, great–welcome to the process of spiritual formation. Purity flows supernaturally from the Spirit of God into the man who surrenders himself to God, desires to be well, and actively lives in obedience to Jesus. God is meeting you in your current condition and He is asking—“do you want to be a Pure Man?”

Suggested Prayer:

Lord, help me. I want to be pure, but sometimes the obstacles overpower me.     

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 1 Tim 6:11-12

Will you join hands with prostitutes, drunkards, and sinners as they are escorted into the throne room of God lavish grace? If not, the Gospel of Jesus is not “good news” to you. In fact, it is terrible news. It means that the red hot zealot who is in good standing with his church will not be accepted because of his zeal. It means that the church that closes the communion table to the broken will be devastated to discover that Christ is not present at their feast (if in fact they even notice his absence). The academic and high-minded folks who insist on correct doctrine and devise complex and systematic theologies, but refuse to take a seat among the humble, will be disappointed that correct doctrine is not equivalent to sound doctrine. Brennen Manning articulates it well in the Ragamuffin Gospel, “our huffing and puffing to impress God, our scrambling for brownie points, our thrashing about trying to fix ourselves while hiding our pettiness and wallowing in guilt are nauseating to God and a flat denial of the gospel of grace.” The Gospel is only good news when we are able join hands with the prostitutes and sinners in the great outpouring of grace.

Let’s be honest, all of us have prostituted ourselves under the tree of human sinfulness; all of us have silenced the pain in our hearts by ungodly means; all of us stand in the place of desperate indebtedness with zero ability to make payment. And this is the good news—that the door of the Kingdom of God is open to you and the redemptive hand of God beckons you to come, to draw near, and to be close. AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING except exist there!!

This is the first step in becoming a person of purity. And it is enough.

Click here for  Spoiled Intimacy – part 1

7 Dimensions of Intimacy – Mark Laaser & Ralph Earle

Vulnerability is darn near impossible in relationships with no real intimacy. People who risk vulnerability are willing to talk about their thoughts and feelings, as well as, acknowledging any need for help. We will never develop intimate relationships if we do not have the courage to risk exposing our heart, mind, and soul to those who are close to us.

Nurture is the ability to care for others with no expectation of something in return. Nurturing people will provide empathy and support and will not feel rejected if suggestions are not followed.

Honesty is a hallmark of healthy relationship. Dishonest people claim that they do not have deep emotion when they do. They will often mask their anger and find ways to control their environment in order to protect themselves from their own emotion. Healthy intimacy is about the honest sharing of emotion and the freedom to express anger and positive feelings alike.

Play is essential. Humor and laughter are good for you and your relationships. Relationships marked by healthy intimacy created space for trying new activities and a willingness to try new ventures. These people have the ability to play noncompetitively and do not feel guilty for taking time to play.

recommended reading “The Pornography Trap” by Ralph Earle and Mark Laaser